I Growl When I'm Pleased

Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland is full of conversations that are both logical and crazy. For instance:

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "We're all made here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on "And how do you know that you're mad?"
"To begin with," said the Cat, " a dog's not mad. You grant that?"
"I suppose so," said Alice.
"Well, then," the at went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
"I call it purring, not growling." said Alice.
"Call it what you like," said the Cat. "Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?"

Using this passage for inspirtation, write your own logical/crazy dialogue between a girl or boy and an animal.